Who the fuck are these people and what am I doing here

In a weird place lately where I feel like I have nothing to say… no real thoughts of any value.  I just like to throw myself into mindless activities sometimes.  Maybe that is the repurcussion of thinking too much lately.

I told my mom the other night that I hate being stuck in the awkward place in my life where I am past the partying/going out and getting trashed and between this transition of having a real job..having kids.  All that shit.  It basically makes me feel like I have nothing in common with anybody these days. I’m losing the desire to even pretend that I do.

Even making my rounds into the art department buildings leave me w/o any sense of identity.  I feel like a phony.  I thought I would find myself there.  Instead I look nothing like any of these people… have nothing in common with any of these people. It’s a whole other group of people that I am nothing like and it is weird.

I don’t intentionallly isolate myself from the rest of the world.  I just feel like I don’t fit into the rest of the world.  What do you do when that notion strikes….

When I think about that…. it is no longer a mystery to me why I am the way that I am.

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