Hope

At one of the boards I frequent… a girl there posted this, this morning.

“I want to reach out to people who were like me a few months ago. I was severely depressed, anxious, and just wasn’t functioning properly.

At first I tried medication alone and it wasn’t the answer. Then I went into therapy. It was scary at first but therapy in conjunction with medication has helped me. Immensely.

My doctor and I think we’ve found the suitable dosage of medication for me. Do I want to be on meds? Hell no. But I’d rather be on meds than live the way I was living.

Are things peachy keen and super awesome? Nope, not at all. In fact, I have a long way to go in terms of recovery.

However, today is the first day I can say I have my mental acuity back. The fog has lifted folks and it feels great.

Will tomorrow be the same? Who knows but I’ve learned to take it one day at a time and realize that recommendations on reading materials and support groups from my doctors may actually help. I’m learning to draw on my own inner strength and stop letting others dictate my mood.

I’m sorry this was so long but I felt really hopeless when I first began trying to get better. I don’t know what the road holds ahead but if things continue at this pace I only see better things in my future.

Thanks for reading.”

It meant so much to me, to read that… even though she doesn’t know it and I don’t really know her and she doesn’t really know me. It just reminded me that there is light at the end of the tunnel. My fog is starting to lift, but I still have a long ways to go.

Like her I don’t want to be on medication, but I’m starting to realize that it makes me a better person, able to function… sometimes we need help. I fought tooth and nail at times to battle this out with myself and finally realized I didn’t hold the power to completely do it by myself. Some things, I do know now I do have control over and that is an awesome feeling… but some things… I need help with and that is okay.

I dunno…. you don’t hear enough of people giving success stories… sharing the light at the end of the tunnel. Probably b/c in a lot of ways admitting any form of mental instability is still very taboo in our culture. Maybe one day it won’t be. I think we’re moving towards that… ever so slowly. A lot of times tho… it is still very much “I was in a dark place and then boom… back to my happy place, life is grand.” At least that is how I’ve felt.

The stepping stones between there and…. there is what I need right now.


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