hjgjyugkjghj!

As usual, time is still managing to fly by. So much so that it doesn’t feel like Thanksgiving should have passed and is sure in the hell doesn’t feel like Christmas is approaching.

Monday I went for massage, which was nice but still doesn’t help much for my shoulder. I was so relaxed though from it that the rest of the evening I was just sorta zonked out. I then proceeded to take a Vicodin for my shoulder and that was the end of that. Passed out.

Tuesday morning I decided that I would do my physical Christmas shopping that way I could officially say I did not have to go near the mall area until after the holidays. I spent about 5 hours shopping, came back home shortly and then ventured back out for about another 4 hours of shopping. Ugggh. No wonder I felt like my feet were going to fall off.

A oh so lovely *cough* Salvation Army bell ringer proceeded to ask me if I was pregnant. I was floored and hope he felt like a complete ass. I’m sure it had to do with me not adjusting my bunched up sweatshirt that did proceed to look like my belly was pooched, but my god. Ack. I am not skinny but I am not a whale either. I wear a size 10…which yes… me being short, means I’m chubby. But there is nothing about me that looks pregnant. I proceeded to die a bit inside though. Just uggh. Dude was lucky I am on happy pills or that could have led to a massive melt down.

So after I finally got home, the Christmas tree is finally up and decorated. Now I just need to finish putting out the rest of my Christmas stuff and put up the lights outside and that will be that.

For some reason this year it is just not feeling like Christmas too me. I don’t know why. I guess because of the way this year has just flown by… it doesn’t seem possible that it is December already but yet here we are.

Time moving so quickly… is why it has been hard for me to catch up with the fact that 2008 has been a year of great change for me. I have not yet caught up to the person I have becoming… am becoming. Part of that has been my 98% lack of introspection. I used to journal almost everyday and really stay in touch with myself, seeing the changes daily… keeping up with myself. Not doing that has caused me a lot of harm actually. Because it has become… who is this person? Why do I feel the way that I do? Where is this coming from? And so on…

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