STFU MIND

Can I just have a meltdown and be done with it?  I’m fucking tired and my mind is never gonna shut off.  It’s back to that.  Yeah… the past 2 weeks, fucking mind won’t shut up and I hate it.

I have an astronomy test tonight that I am not prepared for at all.  No amount of studying at this point is going to fully prepare me, to keep trying this course has been pointless I think, b/c my mind just shuts off.  It’s one of those things that my brain just doesn’t want to let in.

I feel sick.  I don’t know if I caught something else or I’m just stressed.  The two sourta feel similar to me.  My sinuses have been bitches with the weather… the coldness of the outdoors the dryness of the heat indoors… my face and head hurt most of the day all day everyday.

I need to get this medication issue figured out because it is freaking me out although it shouldn’t.  I FUCKING hate stressing about fucking pills of all things.  It fucking sucks that to some extent, there is a part of my life that is drawn around… do I have enough of this, do I have enough of that… when do these run out…. am I going to have to schedule a doctor appt..where the fuck am I going to find time to schedule a doctor appt…. oh my fucking clinic sucks and has the weirdest fucking hours ever so that I can never get through to anybody…

Then there’s other shit…

And on top of it I gave myself more shit to worry about with this photo shoot.  No, don’t get me wrong… I want to do this but I suddenly realized I don’t have a fucking location for it.  Why didn’t I think of this before even posting an ad… it is MY responsiblity to have a location for the shoot… not the clients and here I didn’t even think of indoor locations for the crappy weather.

I just feel fucking horrible and stressed out and I hate feeling like this.

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