Mug my Smug. Decisions.

I feel like I might have said it already, but I also tend to make a lot of drafts I never finish, but I have been currently so disappointed in the fact that last year I managed to do so much and grow so much with my photography, immediately after getting my dSLR, before I had barely learned it!  And yet this year…. besides a few things, nothing much has come out of my photography.

But also… as we flip quickly back the fact that it is almost June, I have pretty much decided to put a hold on trying to do new things with new people for a while… several months… possibly the rest of 2010.  The decision rests on recent factors and some of my curious vents.

In a way it might be a blessing, at least in terms of trying to look at the positive aspects of it.  1)  Less stress, major plus.  Although admittedly, I really miss the “good” type of stress that doing a photo shoot or a wedding or something brought.  2)  It has given me a lot of time to think about what direction I want to take my photography in.  3)  It has given me time to explore my camera more, information about photography more, learn about the business… more.  4) It has brought back and posed the question of what is my passion really when it comes to this art form.  5) It has made me stop viewing it as a job first and a passion second.  I really need to bring back the passion in how I feel about it instead of only seeing it as a service.

That’s been my major conflict in photographing people.  I love it more than anything at this point but there is this strange pull between providing a service and pleasing people and being creative.  Lucky for me, in pretty much all of my situations they have meshed evenly with each other.  In that respect I have been very blessed!

But lately I have had the urge to go a bit more back to my “roots” so to speak.  Which aren’t very deep I suppose LOL at this point.  But they exist.  I really rather miss the girl with a little point and shoot trying to figure out what all it could do and taking pictures of anything and everything and finding inspiration in the most random of objects.  Of course part of that frustration still just reigns with the whole “hai thar…. I need some various lenses so capture effects I want with the damn $$$ camera.”  Macro.  Need macro lens.  Now.  Immediately comes to mind.

Part of it is also running your old stomping grounds, well, into the ground.  Hence my enjoyment with photographing people.  You never ever know what you are going to get.  There’s this lovely psychological twist factor of candid shots, almost like you’re spying on people getting them to open up to you (Jesus, that doesn’t sound weird, freaky and voyeuristic does it? lol)  and even posed shots… seeing what a person displays to you is just fascinating to me.  Not only does it stimulate my creative forces, but my mind as well.

So now when I go back to objects… buildings, flowers, trees, landscapes, sky scapes, animals… I need it to be new.  I need it to be refreshing.

***

I also think I am going to end up abandoning the blog format of the photography portfolio and take it to smugmug and attach my own url to it.  I don’t know what I last did to the blog, but it currently looks horrible.  I think I was trying to change some colors and ended up making it look like something straight out of the early 90s with some bad effects, I dunno lol

I don’t feel that I can adequately design a blog to look professional or to create the brand image/look that I want.  I can’t afford to pay somebody to do it right now either.  Or rather, if I could… I guess I just do not have the patience or motivation to do it right now or in the near future.

Initially I thought to fork over the full amount for all the features of the highest smugmug account but then I thought.. wtf right now that will be a total waste b/c all I really need until I am back trying to do some business is a nice looking gallery at my own site.  I mean hell paying $40 a year to host galleries is enough for now, plus I’ll hafta pay to register and attach my own url to it.

If I get a smugmug account, I’m torn rather or not to continue paying my annual fee for my flickr pro account.  I suppose I will have to investigate that decision when renewal time comes because I use flickr for other purposes and really like being part of the community there and having access to all my stuff instead of flickr hiding most of it in a free account.

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