Weekend Closer.

When the weekend comes to a close I feel like I am being forced back out into reality, and I’m not quite ready to go back.  Especially to the current one, where I am stressed out and feeling completely uncomfortable once again in my own skin.

The difference I suppose now is, I refuse to run away when I am uncomfortable in my own skin, although it is always a very very (did I mention very?) tempting prospect.  Although I haven’t even taken the time to figure out how I even could run away from the current situations even if I wanted to.  Kinda a no way in, no way out type of situation here.

Simply put I suppose, I just don’t like that I’m back to counting down days and weeks to return to something a little less stressful.  Worse yet I suppose, I don’t even know if after the countdown if I have any hope of getting that.

I’ve come to realize that 90% of the experience that you have with life is based on how you perceive it.  Thus I have tried to turn my attention to a more positive light when it comes to the things that stress me out.  Trying to find the positive in less than ideal situations is not my strong suit, admittedly.  However, I no longer care to be the person either that constantly sees the storm clouds instead of the rainbow.

Really so much of what I feel lately is just needing a break probably.  A few days, away from it all.  Not a weekend at home sitting frighteningly close to it all.  It is not that my life is difficult.  It is not that I am not blessed.  It is not that things are really that bad, that hard, whatever.  It is just about being tired, and needing some recharging.  This is clearly the whole essence of finding closure in how I’ve been feeling lately.  A chance to recharge.  Fully.


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