So frustrated today.  Sis brought bubby up from some pictures for his 1st birthday. So I take them into the campus studio.  Everything is massively disorganized.  There’s no freaking a/c in there.  The main lighting would not work.  It was spazzing out like mad.  Of course the slave light/flash cannot be set to be used as a main one.  I felt slightly mortified.  After telling them to come up and get pictures and the whole thing was such a disaster.  I don’t even know what I can salvage out of it all.  Minus some outside shots we did.  Outside shots are always good but it was so stinking hot we couldn’t get many.  It was like 95 today… with humidity almost as high.

The lights in the studio  have going to hell little by little since this winter.  Now they are just a disaster.  Why they haven’t fixed/replaced them I don’t know.  I ended up using my 480 flash and used the slave as well… a slave.  It did not do what I wanted.

2nd… doing studio pics of really small children?  BAAAAAAAAAAAAH.  There is nothing fun about it.  Small children have the attention span of my dog.  It is just one frustration after another.  And it really doesn’t look natural.  I love taking pictures of children in their element… which is usually playing.  Sitting them down and trying to make them pose just looks and feels awkward to me.

I am really not a “studio” photographer… unless you give me a person who can take direction (and even with adults that is rare lol) and a concept.  Basic “sit down and smile” portraits bore the shit outta me.  It is not me, it is not my style.  If you look at what I have done in the studio, those have not been it.  I’ve done H for a testing shoot and her studio shots ended up being a showcase of her tattoo.  And then K… which was…. his own little concept.

Do I want my own studio someday?  Yes… but my plan is not to be working within it constantly. I’m hoping my jobs take me outside of it more often than not.  And I don’t really plan on my style being traditional portrait shooting for when I am within it.  But I guess whatever my studio style develops into.  Maybe this photography thing will end up taking me places I never even imagined.

I am also back to feeling frustrated about the look for my site.  I realized that I can’t throw up galleries for everything I’ve ever done that I’ve ever liked.  It is way to chaotic looking/feeling.  When I browse photography sites that I admire, it is definitely the idea of the galleries giving the best sample of the photographer’s work.  Because I know when I look at them I definitely don’t go through tons and tons of galleries to see all of what they do unless I’m extremely taken by their work. So that would lead to what…. a client’s page instead of galleries of everything I’ve done for others for them to see…  I dunno.  And then that would make more sense maybe for the blog sharing little things…hmmm.

It also doesn’t help that my photography doesn’t fit into some niche.  I do a little bit of everything.  If I have a niche that I fit into, I haven’t found it yet.  In a way I feel so eager to find it though.

My head is spinny tonight, I dunno if I should be thinking of it all.

Now I’m also thinking how I would like to get a light kit of my own in the fall… and then I remember lenses that I want… and seriously start wondering if I have enough money for this career haha


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