It’s Over.

Semester is DONE. And I’m not even relieved. I just feel… shell shocked. It was like the semester that would not end and after all of it I was left feeling very unsatisfied at both the classes and myself.

Unsatisfied with myself because I had no idea what 3 studio classes would bring. I wasn’t prepared for it. They tell you to try to take no more than 2 at a time but I dunno whotf that is feasible to, even people who aren’t in my situation eventually will be near the end.

Unsatisfied with the classes because well let’s see…

  • Actually my computer art & design class ended up being my favorite.  Didn’t see that one coming.  I almost have no complaints now looking back.  At first I was very MEHHH WHY IS HE JUST THROWING US INTO ALL THIS STUFF W/O EXPLAINING IT. Um turns out that was actually pretty awesome for him to do, because guess how much faster you learn to navigate something when you’re just thrown into it?  Pretty damn fast.  And he was a really funny, personable, yet helpful professor who wasn’t afraid to give criticism.
  • The photography class was the biggest let down ever.  When the class started I thought this professor put on an air of being so passionate about photography and gave us this big list of all the things we were gonna do in the class… none of them materialized.  The class was scheduled to run for about 3 hours each night.  Each night we were only there for 40 minutes tops.  Most classes only ran 20 minutes.  I don’t think he really knew how to teach a class.  If you could get him by yourself he was sometimes helpful, but other than that.. nope.  The only good thing was some of the assignments forced me to look beyond my usual fare.
  • The design class.  Uggh.  It is the one that left me feeling the most like I just wanted to end my  misery each and every Saturday.  For one, the VCD department told me that taking a FINA design class would really be no different than taking the VCD section.  From what I’ve heard, I beg to differ.  I do not draw impressive artsy shit okay people.  That aside, the professor… I dunno, I get the feeling that he is still figuring out how to run his class and it just makes it feel like kind of a clusterfuck of randomness and you never know what you are going to get.  I was disappointed to find that instead of coming up with his own curriculum and assignments, he decided to use the exact same ones he was given as an undergrad (yes he divulged this information).  Now I know teachers recycle a lot of stuff but it is really disappointing that to find out that they are using the exact same thing that was used with them.  It just lacks putting thought into your course to know you pulled your material directly from the same classes you had not that many years ago.  He was really inconsistent about his due dates.  At first it was have everything done by x, then during critiques a couple weeks in I was the one who made the comment of “if I had a chance I would really like to do another one of these” which then turned into a class vote of “if we wanted to redo a particular project, we could if we had it in by the next class”, then people started showing up to class w/o their work done and this somehow became okay, so some people really milked it.  So during class critiques which lasted long enough as it was, people would pull out work from 3…4 weeks ago and it felt ridiculous to waste all that time critiquing shit that should have been turned in weeks ago.  It made me wonder, why the hell am I working so hard to get everything done by these “due dates” when half the class isn’t?  And my last big rant, the critiques were bullshit.  If you’re going to critique something, don’t be afraid to say the bad with the good.  Classmates are reluctant to do it I know, but I expect the professor to be able to find a way to phrase the negative, so as not make you want to die in front of everything but to make you aware of this or that.  Instead assignments would come back with ALLLLLLLLLLLL the negative critique that he would not do during the class critique.  You got really tired really fast of being hit with all this negative shit all at once after you stood up there and he supposedly liked this and that and that but you felt like none of that was reflected on most of the grade.
  • I took a folklore class online to fill in an empty space since the VCD department thought it would be cute to have every class that was needed overlap with a class that I was already taking this semester.  It was a fun class, I’m glad I had the professor I did, and I wish I wouldn’t have been so swamped with studio stuff to give it more than I did when it came to the discussion boards that were posted cuz there was great conversation.

I just want all my grades to come back and put this semester away.  I’m trying my best right now to just breathe and give it to the universe and let go.  I just hate knowing that I really really gave all I had to give this semester and feeling like my best wasn’t quite good enough in some aspects.  That’s a difficult feeling to live with, because if giving your best isn’t good enough… what is?

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  1. Trackback: The Path Less Traveled is Pretty Well Worn These Days

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