Blabberings and My Christmas Weirdness

What is it about the holidays that makes people lose their damn minds?  The news has been littered with stories about shootings and stabbings the past week.  And it is always the kind of crimes that make you feel especially sick inside because they usually involve family violence.  I don’t need an answer as to why, I know.  Holidays tend to make people focus more on issues within their families.  Make people feel dysfunction greater… loss greater.  I might have to quit watching the news again for a while though.  I want my bubble of happiness.

On a less serious note, I need my grades.  It’s driving me crazy and I can’t get out of unrelaxed school mode until that is all wrapped up.  I think they are supposed to be submitted by tomorrow.  Rather or not they are posted by tomorrow is a different story.  I’m really only worried about that stupid design class, it caused me the most grief this whole semester and continues to cause me grief until I know that I scraped through it (or not).

This next weeks gets to be “let’s see if I can get everything I wished to accomplished accomplished before Christmas” which is likely to be an interesting feat.  I’m trying not to overthink it though…. I’m already sad that Christmas is almost here and will be over in a blink of an eye.  December already approached way too fast and some how it is now almost the 25th and I have no idea how that happened.  I wanted to relish the Christmas season more this year but yet time escaped me, so I would like to be able to really savor this remaining time.  I don’t want anything to spoil it, I just want to be happy this holiday season, something I was unable to really do last year thru no fault of my own (I believe we’ve been through the whole Paxil is a hell of a drug thing).

I am hoping that all my gifts start to arrive Monday morning or afternoon because it is really down the wire.  I want to make sure everything gets here and get it all wrapped and ready to go.  Tonight I stood in Target staring at wrapping paper for way too long.  I obsess way too much over the little things.  Wrapping paper, it gets ripped off and thrown on the floor and then thrown away.  It is literally taking your money and throwing it away and yet… even wrapping things is big deal to me and something I actually take pleasure in.  It’s not just a gift, it is also a presentation lol… well this is how my mind works about it anyways.  I like pretty paper and ribbons and bows and cute stuff that gets ripped off and tossed and overlooked.  Target had some beautiful specialty wrapping papers this year but I just could not would not spend $6 for 20 sq feet, not when I have too much to wrap.    In their regular wrapping paper selection they had a snazzy damask black & white and as much as I wanted it, I was torn because it just didn’t look like Christmas wrapping paper, even though it would have looked pretty sweet with some red ribbon.  But no, I needed my wrapping paper to look Christmasy dammit!  So finally I went with something cute.  I go bipolar between cute things and elegant things. I need to find a way to better combine these two… it would be the new shabby chic… but uh  cutesy elegant? LOL  Gawd I need to go to bed.

Wrapping paper isn’t my only holiday picky psychoness.  I have issues with Christmas lights too and will judge you accordingly for them.  =P  I HATE HATE HATE flashing Christmas lights.  HATE. Your whole yard cannot be like a really slow strobe light dammit.  Chasing lights?  Fine, rather like them.  Just don’t let them flash.  Mismatched lights also piss me off.  You can’t just hang up random strands of different colored lights.  It needs to look like there is thought into the color scheme if you decide to do more than one color.  I also detest net lights.  There’s something too convenient about them.  Christmas lights aren’t supposed to look all perfect like that, they are supposed to be draped and wrapped and look hand applied, not like a grid of lights covering a bush!  I do however secretly admire people who decide to go with all blue lights and go all out with them.  There’s a house down the road from us that has these awesome LCD blue lights that they have done their whole house in and it is completely surreal looking, especially with the snow because not only is their whole house glowing blue, but it is reflecting off the snow and giving their whole yard this surreal blue glow.

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