That whole I intended to write thing….

….got side tracked by life.

I took 2 summer classes during Summer I this year.  So 2 classes in 6 weeks… that was crazy.  It makes me wonder why can’t all classes be 6 weeks… but then again, sometimes the summer course one does feel a little jipped because it is cram cram cram. There’s a reason some classes should be 16 weeks. I’ve never taken 2 classes during one summer period. I wonder if anyone has taken more than 2 during any 1 6 week summer period? I wonder if they have done so and passed them all with something better than a C? It seems like it would be nearly impossible.

At any rate those 6 weeks freaking flew by.  I didn’t go crazy because they were both online which meant I could schedule my life more around the deadlines.

I got A’s in both of them.  I nearly peed myself.  Especially the Human Sexuality course.  I have no idea where he got the test questions from.  I have no idea how I passed the tests.  I think it was the first time in my life I’ve actually spent a full hour on taking a test.

Human Sexuality and Intro to Learning… see what I did there…. they’re both Psych courses….

I….

am not a fine arts major any longer.

When I decided this, I had this big long bit written up almost apologizing to the world for my decision to go back to where I started.  I felt like I had to explain myself.  Forget the fact that this was not some random ass decision.  I spent about 7-8 months driving myself completely fucking crazy thinking of the decisions I had ahead of me.

It came down to these points:

  • Had I known I really loved photography back in 2004… it would have been different.  I would have chose a different school.  Plain and simple.  I would have went to an art school with a kick ass photo program.  My university is SHIT for photo majors.  They offer nothing to us.  I am not going into all this debt to fucking teach myself.  When they don’t even have an acceptable studio for us to use?  Something is wrong there.
  • Going to school for photography might have some benefits outweighing the costs, but after much soul searching… the costs outweighed the benefits to me.
  • At the end of the day, after graduation, I was still likely to be in the same scenario… perhaps I would get lucky and get a job for some business or something photographing stuff other people wanted me to photograph, but I would still have to forge ahead with all the trials and tribulations of my own unique business if that is what I wanted.
  • The degree would mean very little to me and to my business.  At the end of the day nobody gives a rat’s ass if you have a degree in something if they don’t like your work.
  • I wanted the option of doing graduate work if I wanted to.  Yes, obviously there are graduate studies for art stuff… that was not the type of graduate studies I would want for myself.
  • I really missed learning new things.  I hated feeling like I was in some vocational program or something when it came back to the actual photo classes… only it felt even less than that because I felt like I was getting screwed out of learning anything new anyways.

After much much much much much thought, talking to people, prayer, more thought, meditation, hemming and hawing I decided the right thing to do would be to go back to psychology… and the fact that I had already delved into the art stuff?… not a complete waste of time.
See when I started school for psychology I had an intention in mind… and that was to perhaps eventually go on and get a MA in art therapy. Oddly enough I eventually came back full circle to that desire that started when I was around 16. So I plan to finish the art credits required to apply to those programs after getting my BA in Psych (those extra credits will no doubt come in handy while I am attempting to finish up my foreign language requirements now that I am back in the school of arts & sciences lol)
I was scared that I would go back and be like gaaaaaaaah… this isn’t gonna work but you know what… taking my summer classes, I was freaking happy. I was learning stuff again. Interesting stuff. It didn’t feel wrong, it felt more like I had renewed appreciation for learning something that was a science. I think there is actually a lot of creativity as well in science and I think before my mind was too immature to really see that, that things aren’t black and white. Being involved in an art program can be a totally uncreative experience as well if you aren’t inspired by something.
Now… the issue with art therapy. So few places offer it as a master’s program. I have to do really really well in my remaining time as an undergrad so I can be accepted into a master’s program, including doing a better job at befriending my professors and finding opportunities to get more psychology experience under my belt. I need a few classes for the art prereqs that I might royally suck at… such as painting and possibly sculpting. But if it totally doesn’t work out for some reason, there’s still a lot of other stuff I can pursue graduate studies wise using a psych degree.
I’m not worried about much regarding all this anymore. I finally feel that I made the right decision and everything is gonna work out. I’m somewhat concerned about finishing French lol… I think I’m gonna get the Rosetta Stone program to help with that. Of course I am kicking myself now for not taking Spanish back in high school because GEE OH MUCH MORE USEFUL WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN but… maybe I can eventually learn it.

(I also officially declared my minor in Comparative Religion.)

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. nikkiana
    Jul 03, 2011 @ 03:10:35

    I think that sounds like a really good plan to me. 🙂 I’m glad you’re doing what makes you happy!

    Reply

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