?????

I want to move and have it over with. But then I will have to unpack and that will suck. I’m still having all kinds of stupid emotions while packing. Further proof I suppose that this was indeed a home for me. It is mostly now connected to my bedroom. My sanctuary. I took down the netting canopy down from around the bed and it made the room look twice as big. I suddenly realized I hadn’t been utilizing the space as well as I could have but oh fuck, it was too late now. And the closet… it held so much stuff. I’m just going to miss it. Why am I being this way?! I did not expect myself to be this way at all. I’ve been looking for a house for months… this is what I wanted… what the fuck? I think it just all happened so fast that it has been shocking too. I mean we just went to look at the place and the next thing I know we’re signing a lease. I mean obviously I liked it because I am very very judgmental about my living conditions. I could see myself there and it embodied more of what I wanted than not. We went back the next day with the deposit and spent a decent chunk of time going through it further and I was still pleased. But I did notice myself skirting around the bedroom… dealing with its smallness is going to be the challenging part. That and I think that despite how much I wanted it, I’m just scared. It is something completely new for us. We will have been living together 9 years this month (holy crap, that’s crazy lol and I also totally realized that this year marked 10 years together for us, wow a whole decade. Of course I guess it didn’t much dawn on me b/c that anniversary was around the time we were all sick) and ANYWAYS lol… this is the first time we won’t be living in an apartment.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. nikkiana
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 06:52:20

    I’ve been feeling the same way as I’ve been packing up my stuff and preparing to move… I had to move my bed around a bit to make room for boxes and realized that I should have moved my bed ages ago so it didn’t take up the entire room! Just sorta sucked that I noticed this as I was moving out. I swear, the last month I’m in a place I finally end up nesting.

    Reply

    • Raychela
      Aug 18, 2011 @ 07:00:00

      It is so frustrating to realize it eh? Now that I’m in the new place I keep looking around to make sure that I’m using the space to its advantage. So far I feel pretty good about it.

      Reply

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