Reporting from the Loft…

Oh dear… So much to write, so much time elapsed. Well, we moved! We have now been here a good month. I am entirely unsure how to write anything about the last month since it mainly seems to be a blur that has run together. A lot has gone on in a month, not entirely moving related but I will keep this post about the move. Moving day was difficult, just physically and emotionally I guess. And it was so hot out. Ki had 2 of his friends help us move so honestly, I didn’t have to much on the heavy lifting end of things. I guess it was a small consolation prize for having to unpack pretty much everything and finish up cleaning the apartment and crap… blech.

The first night at the new place was so weird. I could barely sleep because I have a really rough time sleeping in environments that are not “mine”. That morning I got up and went back to the apartment to collect some things. When I got there I instinctively expected Nacho to start barking as I put the keys into the look, after all it was just home the day before. But there was no Nacho because there was a new home. I hung up the keys in the familiar spot and sat down on the floor and cried. I don’t know why. It only lasted a few minutes. I guess I just had to get it out.

We weren’t actually done in the apartment until just a couple of weekends ago. I went in and cleaned and shit. It was actually cathartic for me to slowly empty the remaining bits and clean and deconstruct the home that I had constructed, that way it didn’t feel so blunt and forced as Ki and his friends coming and ripping it away from me. Each visit back felt stranger and stranger. Less familiar space. I began to realize that there was no magic properties this place held that made it home. I had given it that meaning.

That last Sunday I was there cleaning sealed the fact that I was ready to leave and never return when I went outside and realized on of my garden trellis thingys had been stolen. I was seething if for nothing else it embodied so much of what I hated and had to get away from at this place. Suddenly I turned around to a boy carrying it towards me. “Sorry,” he said, “My step dad took this.” I don’t know if I even said anything. I was just in shock. Did a grown man really steal my shit and a child just return it?

However on Saturday I had started a job as I was cleaning and had to finish it on Sunday… and that was not only cleaning the apartment, but clearing out the energy and giving it a blessing. I felt responsible for doing that, since we were the first ones to ever live there. The energy that was inside was all ours and in a few places I could feel that it was heavy and stuck. It was very final. And it felt very light when I left. I felt that weird very happy, so happy that you feel kind of sad combo feeling. The energy felt really good. Peaceful. And in the dining room, I felt like the laughter that was shared there from family gatherings, even if they were few, clung to the walls.

And now, I think this is the quickest I have ever adopted a new place as home. It wasn’t hard to do. This place isn’t perfect but it does have so much of what I’ve been bitching for years about wanting. In retrospect I wish I would have done a smudging before we unpacked everything and cleared the energy here just to make it fresh but one of the reasons I fell in love with this place was because from the moment we first came to see it, it had such light airy energy which made me love it even more. I feel like somebody said goodbye to in the way that I said goodbye to my apartment. They left it with a blessing. It was annoying to unpack everything. I think more so annoying because this is no longer the typical apartment layout. Before I would have just set up everything in the usual way. This time it is a little different. And we also own different stuff than we did when we moved the last time, 4 years ago.

The bedroom was a challenge but I am getting it worked out. It was so bizarre to go to this tiny bedroom but it doesn’t matter much since I have my own space in the loft now, which is 20x cooler lol. I just realized the bedroom needed to feel “whimsical” to make it feel right, so that is what I started working, importing various whimsy haha. Since it is no longer “my room” I haven’t dwelt upon the smallness as much. In fact I think that it has actually grown to seem normal to me and someday when I once again have a large bedroom, it will leave me in shock and awe lol

It has been my realization that this place was waiting for us to find it. We had initially went and looked at a duplex which I just fell in love with… it was so big, good location, close to school all that jazz… but it then turned out that the people who owned it were a bunch of liars about shit. Well it was a good thing that didn’t work out, because not long after our much longed for house and the country came up and we were offered it on the spot. It was unfortunate that it wasn’t going the other direction of the city… my plans had become to move closer to my family instead of ending up going the other way although I am not really any further…just not closer. But I am ridiculously happy and that is quite important.

I am so in love with having a yard, even if it means we have to mow it haha. I have this big porch and this big deck. Next year I am going to be able to hang flower baskets all along the porch and we are going to till up an area around the porch and deck for flower beds. Our landlord even told me that he would till me up a garden if I wanted one. I think the first 2 weeks we were here I did nothing for dinner but grill out because it just so amazing to actually be able to do so.

Plenty of various spaces for plants on the porch and deck

My outdoor fountain can now actually be used OUTDOORS. Amazing I know.

Greatest place to be. Rocking chair. Porch. No fear of children.

I love my front door, I think it is so pretty. And last week they came and put on a storm door on the back door so we can have it open with the screen and all. My dining area I love looking at every day. I love all the windows. It makes everything so bright and airy. And the way the house is positioned on the property most days when you open all the windows the air just whips through the house, it is so wonderful. The kitchen is tiny and we don’t have a lot of space to buy much groceries in advance but I still love it, it is just open and airy as well since it is all connected. And I had no idea how much I would love having a gas stove… omg everything cooks so fast lol

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I love how sunset's golden hour comes right into my kitchen, dining area, and loft.

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I got creative and actually placed a bookshelf on top of the stand that was already built in. It actually works and looks like it was almost a built in bookshelf type deal.

I love my loft so much. So so much. There’s actually 2 rooms in the loft, we have used one for storage but I have managed to organize it in a way that it would still be a functional area for somebody to sleep in that room if need me or what have you. I didn’t like that back area of the loft at first because it seemed so dark and just I dunno… a little creepy to me at first lol but now it is mine and I appreciate it more and more. My area of the loft is like some little fantasy world all my own. Nothing in it really makes since lol and I like it that way because it just consists of a bunch of things that I love. The bedroom has a similar theme going, but the loft is much more intensified of it. It’s basically the bedroom at the old apartment, I just broke it up and put some stuff in the bedroom here and the things I really felt spoke to me in the loft. I’ve laid up here a few times the past few nights just gazing out the window at the sun setting over the fields and felt completely happy and thinking how freaking lucky I was. Beautiful feelings to have.

My chill zone.

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It's like we barely have cats anymore. They think the loft is the greatest place ever.

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2nd room of the loft has been converted to storage area

Bathroom is so tiny but it is nice to not have to share a bathroom with the cat’s litterbox for the first time in years and years.

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This was all the further I could get in with a camera

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Managed to salvage some of my birds from the apt bathroom.

The bedroom is weird just because I don’t regard it as this majorly sacred space as I once did for that title now goes to the loft. But it is still this light playful area that has stuff from my childhood and other randomness. Someday I want a “grown up” bedroom, but it can wait for now.

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One of the 'whimsical' things that livened up the bedroom.

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Lots of windows, good breeze. Some lights and window scarves. What you don't see... bed, built in closet space and a curious amount of mirrors.

The living room is indeed about 2x the size of the one we had in the apartment. It was frustrating for me to actually put some of Ki’s stuff out there because we eventually moved his desk and all that out there… and then I realized how bad that was lol…. for me to like…want to claim every damn space. I guess I just got really spoiled by him having what we dubbed “the lounge” about the apartment and him having all his stuff in there. He had to put so much of his stuff into storage to move here, that I finally realized I was being a selfish cow for even thinking bad thoughts about him putting out a few of his things.

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The vintage Chinese lamp is hung, so that means it must be home.

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Kiowa's space, the corner next to the sofa.

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I've got more pictures to add to this wall area.

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Entertainment center & shelving.

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Area behind the sofa. We're gonna get a second rug to kind of section it off as it's own little space. We've dubbed it the chill zone lol

And then we have a very nice sized utility room. Much needed because it also doubles as a closet. We have a closet built into to one of the walls in the bedroom but it doesn’t hold much. We don’t yet have our own washer or dryer (something I sorely miss) but hopefully will soon… so somethings that are there now will have to be rearranged. It’s also really nice for holding a little extra storage, tools, cleaning supplies, etc.

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The room goes back the width of the living room, lots of space for various items that couldn't be kept elsewhere.

And about 2 weeks after we moved here I went back to the apartments one night and got Slinky, so he is here with us too and I am so happy he has stuck around. I will post his story later.

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Slinky. Happier than ever.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Natalie
    Aug 19, 2011 @ 02:48:19

    Wow, love it! Great space, so nice to have a loft. I feel the same kind of guilt about the emotional struggles regarding den’s stuff being in “my” space. Sigh.

    Reply

  2. nikkiana
    Aug 21, 2011 @ 00:34:41

    It looks awesome!

    Reply

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