photography.

I am in a weird effing place when it comes to photography.  I think some people tend to think it was one of my great interests that fell apart and it’s not.  It’s actually more like this… I love it to much to continue to bastardize it.  People I was like their…regular…for doing shit for them… I had to walk away from them.  I couldn’t be the girl with the camera that did what people wanted me to do for them even if I thought it was stupid or ugly or was absolutely nothing I was or am about.  I’m not a fucking expensive camera.  Go buy your own gawddamn camera.

There’s only one photographer that I’ve run across (well that immediately pops to mind) that I think is really truly doing it completely right… you can see her heart on every.single.image she makes.  That’s my inspiration.  That’s who I want to be.  If I can’t do that, what is the point?  It’s not a style that gives that “look”… I haven’t quite figured out the magic behind it, but I have a feeling it has something to do with shooting things that make you authentically happy.  I catch glimmers of it in my work sometimes.  Some very far apart times.

I recently did some edits.  I was kind of surprised with what came out.  The images took on a much different tone than my previous work.  Lately I find myself drawn much more to colors, tones, textures… or very small parts of an image over this whole huge entire scene.  Photographing people has been really hard lately because I just want to get in as close as I can and not even necessarily show them as something… whole?    I find myself liking things to have a bit of a touch of… not surreal qualities… but just something that says “I am seeing this differently”.  That’s what I always loved about photography… showing people “do you see it this way?  no?  I can show you.”  See it like I see it.

It’s been really interesting lately to think of photography in terms of art therapy and how photography can be used within the field.  There is actually something called photo therapy (who knew!  I didn’t until I started researching photography’s use in art therapy) and it is just fascinating to think of photography as a psychological tool, and a tool for healing.

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