stuck

I’m having trouble finding the motivation to start some of my new year goals.  I keep wandering around the house talking about how I need to get it organized but I don’t know where to start.  I go to start one thing but realize in order not to throw something somewhere where it will then need to put away I need to organize x before y and y before z and just… bleh.  It seems overwhelming.  I feel like maybe I should start in the utility room and work my way back around the house since I keep going to put something back in the utility room and feel like I have stepped into hoarder world.  Okay, it really isn’t that bad but any amount of clutter makes me feel like I’m being squeezed to death.  I’m still stuck in the routine of thinking about all the stuff I want to do instead of actually doing it.  And today I got slightly jealous of someone who was doing something that I have been wanting to do and I had to take a step back and say okay.. what am I doing… how can I feel that way when it is me and me alone who is stopping me from doing this.

At least I have started one… I began my gratitude journal again and am already pleased with the fact that I frequently find myself thinking about stuff throughout the day that I am grateful for as it is occurring.

***

I’ve been using my blue light that my MIL got me for Christmas.  I’ve been using it nearly every day for the past week.. I only skipped a day or so that was particularly sunny.  It is sometimes irritating to me to immediately get up and sit in front of it upon waking up.  I am not sure if it is having much of an effect yet.. it could be my imagination but I have felt slightly more energetic and it doesn’t seem that the sun setting at 6pm is depressing me as much as usual.  It does seem that when I get tired at night it hits me with more of a ‘whoosh’ then coming on more gradual and taking a long time to do so.

**

It is soon a new day, we’ll see what I get accomplished.

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