grrrr

I feel the “I haven’t had enough quality alone time” feeling kicking in… and it is making me mean and snappy.  Like, I don’t want to talk right now, I don’t want to hear a loud ass tv in the background… nothing…I just want silence and my world to myself until I recharge.  I am desperately missing ME TIME right about now.  I must acquire this me time…

I had a dream the other night that we went to go look at the house down the road and it was all dirty and dark and tiny inside (I also dreamed that it was suddenly located near a town a grew up by suddenly) and I absolutely hated it but Ki was like, we are moving into it b/c it has extra bedrooms.  And I was just so sad in the dream.

Silly dream, but I do feel anxious about looking at it.  Ki keeps talking about how he is excited to see the inside and how the landlord was telling him about the interior and what it had, etc.  And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve driven by it  and wanted to know what the inside looked like since I knew it was owned by our landlords already or thought, gee it would have been nice to get that place in the beginning.  I think I’m nervous that Ki will like it and I won’t.  Or I’ll really like it and he’ll decide he doesn’t.  Or that I’ll be wishy washy over it instead of having a strong opinion either way.

Because we haven’t been here that long and the excitement I got over this place is still fresh in my mind.  The steps I’ve taken to immediately make it home.  How familiar it now feels.  All emotions that took me YEARS to get at the last apartment we lived in.  And now this one.. I think the emotions are even greater b/c this is our first HOUSE.

Perhaps I am just overthinking this, I mean hell we haven’t even looked at it yet.

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