So Saturday evening we went and looked at the house.


  • The living room is quite large indeed.  
  • Lots of windows even though they are on the smaller side
  • Bigger kitchen with more counter space and cabinets
  • Big dining area
  • Brand new carpet being installed
  • Brand new tile
  • A beautiful new light installed in the dining room
  • 2 full baths
  • 3 bedrooms
  • huge backyard
  • still have a deck attached out back
  • larger storage shed


  • Rent will be about $150 more.  Was only supposed to be $100, but they currently want extra for pets due to the new carpet
  • Electric stove over gas… not really a big deal but I had really gotten to like gas for cooking
  • No central air.  Air conditioner installed in the living room.  Will probably have to buy one for bedroom depending on how it cools.
  • The carpet is also a minus for me, because I learned to love as little carpet as possible… would have to invest in a good vacuum.  Our current one is old and needs replaced anyways.
  • Looks like it will be more lawn to mow, although the backyard may be close to our the size of our current front yard, hard to tell
  • They should have updated the bedrooms a little more but didn’t… they are fine, this is just me being picky.

Viewing the house sparked serious life conversation.  The kind that you have in TV dramas.

One thing that I have always acknowledged in my mind was that, as much as I love it here, it’s feeling of permanence would be fleeting.  I’ve tried to construct a million different ways in my mind that we could have kids here and if I’m being honest with myself I realized it could not be done.  Ki told me there was no way he would want to have a kid here since with the 2 of us there is already a crunch for a space.  I’ve sat on the sofa quite a few times and tried to imagine placing baby toys, baby clothes, a baby swing… here and there and just realized I would go absolutely crazy.

And so with the timeline I had in mind we would most likely only be here a couple more years until we definitely needed to move on.  And then what… back to trying to find another house or back to apartments.  Bah.

So we talked about how the opportunity seemed to be presenting itself now.  We like this area, we like living in the country, we like our landlords, we don’t want to buy a house right now.  When we’re truly in need of a bigger place, it is highly unlikely that our current landlords will have another house available.  We could either be stuck waiting (if they were like, oh we are gonna have one open up in a year or something) or just be shit out of luck and have to restart the housing search.  An incredibly stressful process.

At first all I can see is the money issue.  If I just view it in terms of money, another $150 a month seems like a lot.  And it is a lot b/c we already pay more for rent than we ever had in the past.  I’ve been talking to friends about this and they pointed out that based on the space increase, $150 a month increase really isn’t that bad at all.  And I can see their point when I think of it that way.  They also pointed out that perhaps we could negotiate the extra expense for pets after a year or so.  It does make me nervous though, because I know we are getting to the higher end of our housing budget and I feel fearful that if something went awry, it could screw everything up.  But… I can also see things that we could do away with if something went awry… things that we don’t absolutely have to have.  It may not be as fun w/o them, but they aren’t necessities.

It’s been a lot to think about.  I’m still in shock about the whole thing.  Emotion wise I’ve actually been a little flat about it because it just seems like so much at once.  I’ve actually had to remove myself from it a bit and tell Ki, okay this is mostly in your court… you need to let me know what you’re thinking.  B/c the way things are right now, I feel like he is the only one that really knows 100% if we are capable of doing this.  I want to get excited about it but right now it’s just so HOLY CRAP WHAT ARE DOING?!

I am trying to think of the positives.   Our living room would no longer be used as three different things.  His space.  My space.  And living space.  I would have actual kitchen space to store everything and prepare food.  An actual dining space.  My table and chairs would actually be useful again.  Ki gets his own space again, and display all his stuff.  I get my own space until hopefully at some point that space becomes a nursery.  3 closets…omfg are you kidding me  (ya’ll would laugh if you saw what we’ve been working with for closets).  A bedroom that is actually real bedroom sized (again you should see our bedroom, it is insane what can become “normal” after you’ve dealt with it long enough).  2 NORMAL sized bathrooms… I can’t even imagine now lol  A backyard… to sit outside and absolutely no one can see you either from the road or from the side yard.  Awesome.  I could possibly even lay out in the summer.

I think another reason I’m having problems getting emotional about it, is because in a way it all seems almost too good to be true.  I guess I feel like it is something that could get taken away from me.  I still sometimes feel like that with this house.

This is all crazy overwhelming.  The end.


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