Every time I think my baby fever is enough to kill me…  I hang out with Tristin and it makes me reconsider lol  Don’t get me wrong, I love my nephew an insane amount but wooo that kid is something else.  He always has been  a force of his own, just this wild chaotic energy that can tire you out in 10 minutes.   I just hope the universe knows not to give me one of these children because the poor thing would not fit into our household at all lol

The baby on the other hand… I know most parents would not admit that one child was their favorite, but I totally think that a lot of parents do have favorites and I totally think the baby is my sister’s favorite lol  Not just because he is the baby and he’s so damn cute I just want to steal him away and shove him in my heart… but he is so chill.  He doesn’t cry at all unless he’s hungry or on the rare occasions I’ve seen him completely overtired.  He’s a smile machine enthralled with the world around him, super social, and he just emits this very laid back energy.  You can sit beside Tristin and feel drained… but you can hold the baby forever and it seems like he just replenishes the energy his brother sucked out lol  I get why my sister cuddles him so much.  Please universe, give me a child like that.

Speaking of babies and TTC and things of that nature… after Tysen was born we started talking about it again a bit more seriously.   Ki is definitely set on one kid only and I think I’m right there with him, especially since the parenthood journey has been postponed to our 30s.  I used to feel guilty over the thought of a child not having a sibling but I dunno… I mean can you really miss what you never had?

I know you don’t get a say in the matter, but we also both want a girl.  Especially me.  Sometimes I feel guilty admitting it, how badly I want a daughter.  I just always pictured myself with a daughter.  I adore my nephews and know I would be perfectly content with a son if I had one, but if we’re being honest, I really really want a little girl.

I just don’t look forward to the journey of getting a baby though.  It seems unreal to me that people like… have sex and get pregnant lol  How amazing must that be.  It’s so weird though b/c I always knew… I think I knew b/c I knew how bad I wanted to be a mama, even at a young age… so I knew I wouldn’t get it easily.  B/c that is how life works for me.

It would be brilliant if exercise and diet and weight loss brought my periods back to something somewhat regular, but so far no dice.  I was so thrilled last year b/c I was taking soy and had like 4 cycles in a row and then I messed up taking soy one cycle and it seemed like all hell broke loose.  Honestly I doubt that was the cause of it, but it feels like it was.  I’m already taking a billion different vitamins & herbs…  (and I added Vitamin D3 today after the tumblr PCOS tag pointed me to some interesting research on it).

Enough on that I suppose… we’ll approach the road again later.  In my ideal world I would be pregnant sometime in my 30th year.  It’s not far away at all, but far enough that I don’t need to be worrying about it now.  Unfortunately nearly every time I spend time with my nephews the thoughts pop into my head and to top it off today a friend asked me about our plans while we were discussing her little rascals.  Right now it is easy enough to push it off with “ummm still finishing school up dude”… but I won’t always have that fall back on if things don’t go as expected soon.


Sis, BIL & the nephews came and spent yesterday.  She’s been wanting to move closer to us all together but BIL is stubborn as a mule about well… everything.  They wanted to go to the big antique mall in Grabill so we went.  Tristin did exceptionally well, but I was in charge of him most of the time and wanted to punch all the people who cooed at the baby whom my sister was wearing and meanwhile glared at Tristin due to the fact that he was a pre-schooler  in an antique mall.   I must admit tho it was quite a brave idea to bring Tristin into an antique mall since he has the grace of a bull in a china shop.  Thankfully I mostly hate antiques so my child will not have to suffer the glare of adults scared of shit getting broken. Ha.

Tristin also got slapped by Mango… again.  This is the second time in his short life.  The first time Tristin tried to take a toy away from Mango on Thanksgiving before last.  This time Tristin disobeyed me when I asked him to please wait in the living room while I was changing my shirt and made a beeline to Mango who was in the bed (and if Mango is in the bed when visitors are over, he’s done with them) and went to touch him.  Mango hissed and smacked at his hand causing the biggest meltdown over b/c the kid was so tired and sis, BIL, and the baby had gone to some stores to look around while I cooked din-din and played with Tristin.  I felt so bad that I carried this giant screaming and crying kid to the bathroom to fix up the scratch (which was a small surface scratch, it scared the bejesus out of him more than anything).  He was carrying on so much that I had to take his face in my hands a few times and tell him to breathe.  I think he really believed he had a near death experience with the cat.

Still though, I felt so shitty.  But also slightly irritated b/c Tristin seeks out Mango even though we tell him you know, just leave him alone, and proceeds to mess with him.   My sis and BIL were not terribly concerned when I told them what happened… they seemed to agree that Tristin needed to learn to just leave the damn cat alone.

After that he was an angel though.  He sat on the couch for the longest time and didn’t say a word and just watched tv so I sat with him.  Finally he got up and started jabbering nonstop to me about everything under the sun.  I also had to promise that I would call Santa and tell him that Mango goes on the naughty list this year lol

The baby is awesome.  Like I said, smile machine.  He even insisted on me holding him a few times, lunging out of sis’s arms for mine.  Aw.  6-9 months is always the cutest phase, when they are just beginning to realize they are little people and they are adorable.  I wish you could pause time and keep them in that phase for as long as you wanted.


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